The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF Free Download

The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

Features of The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF-An invaluable resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), this authoritative book guides troubled marriages toward an understanding of and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author’s personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages – such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues – through the use of vignettes and descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. This resource encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship and healing the fissures that ADHD can cause.-The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

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Description of The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF is one of the best medical books for students and professionals on the subject of Psychology . It is a must download.

The Authors

The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

Melissa Orlov is the founder of, and the author of two award-winning books on how ADHD impacts adult relationships – The ADHD Effect on Marriage and The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD.

She is considered “…one of the foremost authorities on ADHD and relationships in the world today” says Dr. Edward Hallowell, author of Delivered from Distraction and other seminal books about ADHD. “Her books can change lives for the better, and dramatically so.”

For over 10 years, Melissa has been counseling couples impacted by ADHD and giving tele-seminars shown to move couples away from destructive interactions and into the healthy, loving relationships they desire. She speaks around the world about adult ADHD and relationships, and teaches therapists how to work with these special couples.

Orlov’s website and blog has helped well over a million people understand that they are not alone and that they can change their marriages for the better ( In addition to the website, Orlov blogs for Psychology Today, wrote the “Your Relationships” column for ADDitude Magazine between 2008-2014, is a contributor to the first therapist manual about how to counsel couples impacted by ADHD (The Distracted Couple), and is a contributing author to Married to Distraction, with Hallowell and his wife, Sue George Hallowell, LICSW.

Ms. Orlov is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College. In her free time she enjoys road biking, summers at Chautauqua Institution, singing and playing the cello (poorly!) She and her husband of 30 years have two children.

Dimensions and Characteristics of The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

  • Listening Length 8 hours and 3 minutes
    Author Melissa Orlov
    Narrator Laura Jennings Release Date March 14, 2017
    Publisher Tantor Audio
    Program Type Audiobook
    Version Unabridged
    Language English
    Identification Number B06XCYNYLL
  • Book Name : The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

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Top reviews

Leslie M. “I read in an article somewhere that most people who get out of an ADHD marriage wonder how they survived such a “train wreck”. I have been married to an ADHD husband for 37 years. And I have an 18 year old ADHD daughter. I feel like I have been through years of train wrecks. It’s exhausting. I hired an ADD coach for myself who reminded me I was living with two “aliens”. When my husband poo-pooed the coach’s suggestions, coach wished me luck with the frustrations to come. I want to separate from my spouse.
I wish I’d had this book 30 years ago. Melissa’s story is my story. Exactly. But, I began drinking heavily to deal with the stress and denial of my family members that they had any disorder. Feeling ignored and attacked, that “I was the one with the problem” finally has finished it for me. I had to get to Alcoholics Anonymous seeking recovery help from alcoholism and depression.
Everything Melissa Orlov mentions is spot on. There is work that must be willingly undertaken by both spouses in order for the marriage to survive. My daughter and husband finally agreed to evaluations which recommended taking meds which all the docs agreed they needed. And they love how their meds help them. But they won’t do the additional cognitive behavioral piece which absolutely should happen–because this affects me heavily. They don’t see the value; they refuse to hear how difficult living with their behavior can be for me.
I hate to say my marriage is done, but I am holding on only until my daughter leaves for college. If you have an ADHD or ADD spouse, read this now and seriously follow Melissa’s suggestions. Do the work in loving kindness and with the expectation that you both want the best for each other. Be willing, honest, open to change and help with this neurological disorder. Don’t let train wrecks of alienation, affairs, fighting, and resentments rule your life. Sadly, I have come to realize how much happier I am when I am alone, especially for long stretches of time, at peace, living in a way that nurtures and doesn’t suck the soul”
emma_regencyromancefan “This is a brilliant book that has really helped me understand my spouse. It’s only recently come to light that my 34 year old husband has ADHD. I was a little bewildered at first to think he had this “mental disorder” and was almost in denial. (I’m the sort of person to brush things under the carpet, “don’t worry about it!” “Just be positive” Etc.) My husband is always someone that has been easily distracted, losing things constantly, feeling brain is muddled, feeling unworthy and not good at any tasks, puts a lot of effort into being organised etc so when I read this book I couldn’t believe how it described him. He’s not as bad as some of the extreme examples in this book but the first page with the blurbs about “does he feel like this, do you feel like this” were shocking how on point they were. I’m constantly trying to control what he does and yes I’m a nagger . This book has given me a totally different perspective though. It’s really helped me learn about myself more too, things that I can do, things not to do, how I can come to the realisation that he deserves respect and consideration too and realise that I can’t change him because ADHD just doesn’t work like that. I wouldn’t say we were having extreme marriage problems, we do argue a fair bit though and this has really given me food for thought how I will react going forward over arguments. I would imagine if you were having serious marriage problems this would also help you.

I’d also like to give my thoughts on another review which I think is very unfair. Never does this book state the nonADHD spouse is superior to the ADHD spouse, in fact the main gist I got from it was that you shouldn’t act like that and you shouldn’t have a parent-child like relationship unless you want to be unhappy and make your spouse also unhappy. Also it IS use to women with ADHD, the author has a section about both partners having ADHD and while most examples are using “he” as the one with ADHD there are lots of examples where she says “she” has the ADHD. Also don’t forget this author is a she and her husband was the one that has ADHD so she’s going to talk more that way. Doesn’t mea it doesn’t talk about it the other way round though. It’s not patronising, you need simple things to get through to your head, I can’t sit there reading scientific wording and overly complex ways of saying simple statements, otherwise I won’t understand what I need to do? It’s not written for a dumb person, you still feel it’s intelligent. It also doesn’t say that all problems are down to ADHD, in fact it makes clear that often both parties have other illnesses that might be causing issues and suggests the non-adhd spouse look into if they have issues of anxiety/depression and so on and clearly says that those with ADHD most of the time have other illnesses along with that like depression etc etc. I mean it is a book about ADHD so the author is gonna focus on that? If you want a book about general marriage problems and tips then go for a totally different type of book.

If you want a book that will help you finally understand why your spouse acts in certain ways and how you can make their lives and your own life better going forward then read it. If your spouse also reads it, great. But even if only you read it, you’re enlightening yourself.

Re spelling issues. Yes I have the printed version and I probably noticed about 4 errors in a 245 page long book.”

Mandrake “This was a book club choice, and one of the best that we have read in recent years. I would recommend it to everyone, but particularly those with strong and confirmed moral or political convictions. It will change your views about religion and politics, and hopefully make you more tolerant of other peoples perspectives. Here are my notes:

Haidt: The Righteous Mind
This was one of our best recent book club choices. It was well written, clear and thought provoking. The main point of the book to me was to demonstrate that morality has a social purpose, as the foundation on which social capital is constructed. What matters is that people share the same moral values, not whether those values are “right or wrong”. It has changed my thinking, and I have bought copies for friends of mine to see if it can also change theirs.


The book is divided into sections:
• Section 1: Intuitions come first, strategic reasoning second
The central metaphor is that the mind is like a rider on an elephant, whose job is to serve the elephant without much control of where the elephant is going. Traditionally Western philosophy separated the body and the mind, with the mind being the “ghost in the machine”, but according to Haidt the two are intimately connected. In fact morality is rooted in emotion and not in reason. We act first (the elephant moves), and justify our actions later (the rider).

• Section 2: There’s more to morality than harm and fairness
The central metaphor is like a tongue with six taste receptors. Morality has evolved to bind social groups together. Haidt identifies 6 different moral foundations, each of which has a role to play in addressing specific human behaviours:
Care/Harm: evolved for the protection and care of vulnerable offspring
Fairness/Cheating: evolved to encourage sharing and punish cheating
Loyalty/Betrayal: evolved to bind people together in social groups and to punish defectors
Authority/Subversion: evolved to bind people within a hierarchical social structure within the group
Sanctity/Degradation: evolved to protect health by avoiding unsafe foods and encouraging hygienic practises
Liberty/Oppression: evolved to balance the personal freedom and group loyalty

• Section 3: Morality binds and blinds
The central metaphor we are 90 percent bee and 10 percent chimp. We naturally tend to aggregate into large social groups bound by shared morals. In this context religion should not be seen as a parasitic meme, but as a social tool that binds people together into a cohesive and effective unit. Further, our political inclinations are a function of our individual sensitivities to each of the 6 moral foundations. Socialists are primarily driven by Care/Harm considerations for “social justice” and equality of outcomes. Conservatives are more concerned with maintaining social capital in an imperfect world where people cheat and exploit the system. Neither has a monopoly on righteousness, and each has their place in maintaining a balanced society.

I thought that this was an excellent book, grounded in science, which succeeds in its main argument that morality is an evolutionary adaptation whose purpose is to behind social groups together. I also very much enjoyed the description of how the field of moral psychology has developed over time. I have only a few points to discuss:

1. Religion as a meme
Haidt argues that the new Atheists are wrong in characterising Religion as a pernicious meme, and that instead it has a social purpose in binding people together into a cohesive whole. I think he overstates his case, and that his argument is not incompatible with that of the new atheists (Dawkins, Hitchens etc). Although the set of religions as a whole may well have a social purpose (religion has spontaneously evolved too often for it not to have some use), each individual religion can also be regarded as a meme that exploits humanity’s social needs to propagate itself. Thus when Haidt states that religions change over time to fit the needs of a changing society, the New Atheists would argue that the meme mutates and evolves with its host to ensure its continued propagation. It is merely a question of perspective.

2. Moral foundations of political views
Although, the conclusion of Haidt’s discussion of the moral foundations for Conservative and Liberal viewpoints is a refreshing call for tolerance, I thought that this was the weakest part of the book. His claim that political beliefs can be traced back to differing sensitivities to the 6 moral foundations mentioned above was justified by social surveys in which people were asked their political orientation and then asked to answer moral questionnaires. Conservatives and Liberals were then found to have different reactions to questions that targeted particular moral foundations. Correlation is not necessarily causation I thought that some of the graphs showed relatively weak relationships. In order for Haidt to be right the questions must be formulated so that the subject interprets them in the way intended, and that each question must target the intended moral foundation correctly. There is significant room for error and ambiguity there. His results seemed strong enough to draw general but not specific conclusions from.

3. I have an old friend whose politics are different from mine (he is a lifelong Socialist), so I bought him a copy of the book in the hope that it would provide some perspective and allow us to better understand each other’s viewpoints. As I handed it over he took one look and said “Not bloody Haidt, I hated that book.” We continue to avoid discussing politics. I am pessimistic that Haidt’s call for political toleration will be heeded.

I thought that this was a terrific book, and one of the best we have read in a while.”

Reference: Wikipedia

The ADHD Effect on Marriage PDF

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